Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

This would SO be in 3D if it came out today. You just know it would be.

Director: Wych Kaosayanada (credited simply as "Kaos")
Studio: Warner Bros. Pictures
Genre: Action
Country of Release: United States
Year of Release: 2002

I thought the fact that it had a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes couldn't possibly be true. I see it was. I think the best way to explain this movie would be that it is "Explosions: The Movie". That's literally all there is to this movie. Explosions. There's really stale acting from Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu (who I really am starting to believe should be thankful she has a career whatsoever), a plot that is predictable, cliche-ridden (Seriously this takes cues form every bio-terrorist plotline ever) with plotholes and is just seriously nowhere near entertaining or original. There isn't even anything resembling character development (We never really learn remotely anything whatsoever about Ecks or Sever as people or much about their actual grudge against each other).

There's a soundtrack with lots of fast-paced electronic club music that doesn't fit with the scenes whatsoever and creates a sense of really, really severe soundtrack dissonance (but not in the intentional mood-setting way, just in the this was a horrible choice of music way). This is the epitome of a STUPID Hollywood Blockbuster...except oh wait, it flopped completely. Seriously, "Explosions: The Movie" really is the only way to accurately describe how empty and forcing itself to try to be cool this movie was.

Do yourself a favor. Just don't watch it. Seriously, it's not entertaining even as an action flick because the fight choreography is all ridiculously familiar and not the least bit cool to watch compared to action movies where there at least is a competent plot at work. I hate to completely bash a work but sadly, bash is the only thing I can do in regards to this film. I literally can't think of a single positive thing about it. Sorry, I can't. Whoever directed this apparently won't take credit for being involved as the position is just listed as being done by "Kaos" in the opening credits. It took research to find out a guy named Wych Kaosayanada was apparently behind this.

...The only way one could enjoy this would be if they completely blocked out all the parts of a movie besides explosions and fight scenes and then at that point does it even qualify as a movie anymore? Which is why I give it a 0/10, the only way to enjoy if you're trying to give a serious critique it is to not judge it based on cinematic standards whatsoever. Everyone who takes up for this movie is ignoring the fact that a film consists of more than just one type of scene and the way it's filmed.

Rating: 0/10 (This is the only film I've reviewed so far to earn this "honor")