The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010)

"I'll explain this spectacular operation only once. We start with cutting the ligamentum patella, the ligaments of the kneecaps, so knee extension is no longer possible. Pulling from "B" and "C" the central incisors, lateral incisors and canines from the upper and lower jaws, the lips from "B" and "C," and the anus of "A" and "B," are cut circular along the border between skin and mucosa, the mucus cutaneous zone. Two pedicelated grafts are prepared and lifted from the underlying tissue. The shaped incisions below the chins of "B" and "C" up to their cheeks connecting the circular mucosa and skin parts of anus and mouth, from "A" to "B," and "B" to "C," connecting the pedicelated grafts to the chin-cheek incisions from "A" to "B," and "B" to "C," creating a Siamese triplet, connected via the gastric system. Ingestion by A, passing through B, to the excretion of C. The human centipede, first sequence."

Director: Tom Six
Studio: Six Entertainment
Genre: Horror
Country of Release: The Netherlands
Language: English
Release Date: 2010

The human body is a fascinating thing that can be grotesquely distorted, this impending physiological dread is the basic idea behind the concept of Body Horror. How far can the human body be twisted before it no longer is anything remotely resembling human? The Human Centipede is a film that takes the idea of body horror and just runs with it. It's received quite a bit of hype for the depravity of the idea itself, read on if interested but this isn't a movie for those with weak stomachs just based off of concept. This is a film about two American tourists (they're the typical ditzy, dumb American girl types) in Germany who have a run in with a crazy doctor who stitches them together mouth to anus in a chain with a a Japanese man in front, one girl in the middle, and another in the back after they fail to escape. Yes, it is literally a human centipede. However, that's about as far as this movie goes when it comes to substance.

There's not really much to this film besides the idea itself which is original and horrifying in its own truly bizarre way. Don't get me wrong, I don't think a film necessarily has to be deep to be good but The Human Centipede never even manages to truly be scary and instead is far more unsettling in it's idea than it's execution. There is literally nothing here in terms of anything outside of basic idea that makes good film-making. So in a way this is body horror that takes on attributes of psychological horror with the kind of imagery that just sticks in your head.

Yet, for a truly original idea, everything else in this film is either mediocre or annoying. We have our typical dumb tourist girl archetype characters that we can't become even the least emotionally interested in (despite them spending about half the movie screaming and yelling, which I realized annoys me to no end), we have our evil and twisted scientist who is really just plain nuts, we have our classic dark cinematography, we have our classic horrible fate of tourists storyline, and it's all just really there but not remotely remarkable at the end of the day. Oh and did I mention that incredibly cheesy dialogue that you expect from a low-budget, indie flick? It has that as well.

The movie isn't even exactly what I would call enjoyable to watch, it's more of a test in just how much of this truly fucked up idea can you take. Outside of the utterly insane and yet still unique idea, the movie is essentially completely forgettable in nearly every way. I wouldn't call the movie necessarily bad in the same way that instead I'd call it disappointingly bland. Also, to me this was nowhere near as utterly disturbing as many made it out to be...it's more grotesquely inane than truly disturbing. Oh and the film claims that it is "100% medically accurate." Take that as you will.

Rating: 4/10

Toy Story 3 (2010)

To Infinity and Beyond...one last(?) time.

Director: Lee Unkrich
Studio: Pixar Animation Studios
Genre: Animation/Comedy
Country of Release: US
Release Date: 2010

The Toy Story franchise holds a special place in my heart so I will admit this review may contain bias. In 1995 on a Friday night, my dad took me to go see Toy Story in theaters, it was a revolutionary film for the time that changed animation forever and put a little studio called Pixar on the map. It is also my oldest memory of being in a theater whatsoever. That being said, when Toy Story 3 was first announced I was a bit hesitant and worried about it. Then I saw the trailers and I realized immediately that while the movie was targeted to a general family demographic, it was specifically targeted emotionally to people around my age (those currently in college or heading off to college or just graduated from college who grew up with the first two films). Toy Story 3 is a nostalgia fest that makes subtle but effective nods to the previous two films in the series.

The film itself immediately begins to take us on it's nostalgia-ladden emotional ride when we learn that certain characters that were a part of the previous films were no longer around, we the viewers never really got to see the fates of these characters but we still felt sorry for them. Andy is heading off to college and has to leave behind his precious toys that remind him so much of what his childhood was to him, I honestly can say that I believe most of the individuals of my age group can strongly relate and put themselves in Andy's place.

The plot is paced well, there's some remarkably clever and brilliant dialogue that manages to be funny for children and sophisticated enough for adults, the soundtrack hits all the right spots, and the entertainment value remains through the roof. The ending manages to be part of the reason I give so much praise to this film though, it was such an intense scene that resonated among those who could really feel it.

The only problem I had with the film was that I felt many of the new character introduced were painfully underdeveloped but since none of the ones I feel this way about actually had any major roles, I'm willing to overlook this quip. Honestly, Toy Story 3 is a film that's about the send-off of our childhood and everything that it stands for, it's about becoming an adult but not forgetting what your life used to when you were little (the friends you made, the times you spent, the mistakes you made, everything of those days). It's the magic of nostalgia and being a kid.

I feel that those who missed this missed the entire strength of the film beyond just being a remarkably solid film by itself. I personally was deeply moved by this movie, deeply, deeply moved. It is rare when films resonate on an emotional level in this day but when they do, it's nice when they hit as hard as Toy Story 3. Kudos to Pixar for picking their demographic perfectly.

Rating: 10/10

Lights, Camera, Act - You Know This Line

Welcome to Cigarette Burned Heart, on this blog I'll be posting short movie reviews that I hope encourage you to show an interest in films you may have otherwise never heard of. As far as being an actual film buff goes, I'm still pretty new to this but I want to be a director someday and I figure beginning as an independent critic is a decent foray into the cinematic world of celluloid and lights. I'm a fan of mainstream cinema, independent films, and foreign films so you never really know just exactly what will show up here. I'll try to post two reviews a day, one of a film I thought was well done and another of a film not so well done. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy my reviews as much as I enjoy writing them. If you ever have any films that you'd like to recommend feel free to tell me, I always look forward to new experiences with cinema. And without further adieu, get some popcorn or whatever you prefer and we'll start getting this show on the road.