Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

KAAAMEEE...HAAAAAAMEEEEEEE...HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Director: James Wong
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Genre: Fantasy/Action
Country of Release: United States
Year of Release: 2009

Have you ever watched a movie that you knew was terrible but thought you would enjoy it jokingly because it's so bad? That was how I planned to go into Dragonball Evolution, a movie canned by nearly everyone for being utterly horrible. That plan didn't work out so well. Yes, this movie managed to be a huge disappointment even when not being viewing it seriously whatsoever. Now the entire Dragonball franchise was a huge part of my childhood growing up and I'm not one who believes that an adaption can't deviate from it's source material but this movie in no way remotely resembles anything regarding the Dragonball franchise. The plot of the original series has been thrown out the window and replaced with some random coming of age story done in a way that is so full of plotholes and mindnumbingly dumb that there's just no entertainment in it. Some argue that the silliness and inane plot of this movie captures the spirit of manga as an artform, I for one feel that is an insult to mangaka (Japanese for manga authors with manga being Japanese comics) everywhere.

The acting is paltry...just so horrible across the board. There's never really convincing emotion whatsoever. It all feels like it's been poorly read off of a script (which seems like it was written completely devoid of the spirit of the series by someone with ADHD). The actor who portrayed the character Yamcha may very well be the worst portrayal of a supporting character I've seen this decade, yes this entire decade. The plot and fight scenes both are too hectic and horrifically paced to try to follow with the least bit of serious interest (this movie jumps setting so much I gave up trying to follow) and the special effects which many thought were going to be the redeeming grace of this movie look like they were for a Made For TV Movie.

It's hard to believe that a major production studio like Fox Searchlight actually put money and time into this, it is really just that bad. The only possibly redeeming thing is the costumes and the bright tone of the movie does do a decent job of capturing the mood of the series but everything else I found to be paltry to the extreme. Is this a bad adaption of a classic and influential anime/manga series? Yes. Is this a bad movie even if you don't judge it by the source material? Hell Yes.

This is easily one of the worst excuses for an A-List Hollywood Blockbuster attempt I've seen this decade (though I hear The Last Airbender gives it a run for its money). Save your money and time on this one, it's not as fun as it looks like it could have been. It's going to take more than a wish from Shenron to erase this piece of shit from the resume of anyone involved with it whatsoever.

Rating: 2/10